By Dr Rajesh K Pillania
Human beings are exciting creations of nature. We are experts at turning simple things into complex, complicated stuff. One example of this is the way we have converted life into something very complex and complicated, which at times looks so difficult that we do not understand it. In this article, I look at one aspect of it that most of us face in our daily lives.
In our daily lives, we constantly hear things like this: my son is a topper in his class; my husband got the best employee award; my wife makes the best food; my mother is a gem; my friend is a national-level champion; I put in my best efforts but even then my son never comes among the top students in the class; even with all this support, why can’t you be the best employee; if I had got all the resources and facilities that you have, I would have always come first in my class; even with all these facilities, why are you just an average performer; and so on.
We hear these kinds of statements and many more in our daily lives regularly. We have made it seem as if the right way to live is only when you are better than others or among the top. This has created a lot of self-doubt, stress, depression, loneliness, and unhappiness in society and the world.
During the last 15 years of research, the author has come across many people in India and abroad who are suffering from self-doubt, anxiety, loneliness, and unhappiness because they are just normal and not among the top performers or better than many others. The constant, regular nagging and comparisons with others by parents, family, teachers, colleagues, bosses, neighbours, and society have created significant self-doubt and insecurity among such people. Interestingly, even among people who are doing better than others and are among the toppers, many are not happy because of constant comparisons, pressures, and expectations.
Is this the right way to live, or is there a better way? Don’t get the author wrong—this article is nowhere suggesting that we should not perform or that we should not do well. This article suggests that the romanticisation of top performers and the devaluation of being normal are creating many unexpected and undesirable outcomes that are not helping anyone.
A better way to look at life is to see it in totality, where performance on any criterion is just one part of it. A person’s worth should not be made equal only to performance on any single criterion. Everyone is different, and we need to start respecting each person’s individuality. It is okay to be normal. There is nothing wrong with being just normal. Let’s celebrate being normal and living life. Let’s celebrate and enjoy living – the most essential part of life.
(The writer is a Professor at the Management Development Institute, Gurgaon. He is popularly known as India’s Happiness Professor and India’s Happiness Guru.)
