By Roney Lyndem
The recent Highland Post report (https://highlandpost.com/social-media-destroying-kids-causes-tension-in-marriages/ )claiming that mobile phones and social media are “destroying” children, youth, and marriages is another example of how our society repeatedly falls into the same pattern whenever a new technology or cultural shift emerges. Every generation has blamed something new for the decline of values: rock music, comic books, television, video games, and now social media. What troubles me is not that concerns were raised, but that the article presents these opinions from public representatives as if the root causes of our social problems are simple, obvious, and already confirmed by evidence. In reality, the issues affecting children, parents, and marriages in Meghalaya are far more complex, deeply layered, and connected to the structural weaknesses of the systems that surround us.
The article quotes statements made during a consultative meeting organised by the state’s Social Welfare Department. As per the newspaper’s report, it seems that Agatha Sangma, Chairperson of the State Commission for Protection of Child Rights, suggested that parents must reduce the screen time of their children and that working mothers should “manage a couple of hours” or use holidays to spend time with their children. It also seems, again based on the article, that Iamon Syiem, Chairperson of the Meghalaya State Commission for Women, claimed social media is destroying families, and that even simple messages from unknown individuals are causing tensions in marriages. At face value, these statements may sound reasonable, but when examined through a psychological, social, and Christian lens, they raise serious concerns.
As someone who has worked with children, adolescents, couples, and parents for many years, I am deeply troubled by the way these remarks were presented. When leaders make sweeping statements, people interpret them as authoritative truths. And when these statements oversimplify complex problems, they can cause more confusion than clarity. It is especially concerning when such comments appear to redirect blame back onto families—particularly mothers—while leaving out the crucial systemic issues that impact child development, mental health, and marital relationships.
This brings me to a necessary critique. Based on the newspaper post, it seems that Agatha Sangma’s comments place primary responsibility on parents, especially working mothers, for the challenges children face because of mobile phones. Yet such an argument is not supported by psychological research, nor does it reflect the reality of families in Meghalaya. When a public representative states that parents should simply “monitor screen time,” it sounds like a solution, but it ignores the far more influential forces shaping children’s lives. Children are not struggling because their parents failed to limit screen time. They are struggling because their environment—both at home and at school—is under immense strain. The education system is rigid, exam-focused, and emotionally disconnected. Schools often preach about mental health publicly while privately refusing to reform their systems or hire trained counsellors. Teachers are overburdened, classrooms are overcrowded, and many institutions still operate with a management-first and child-last mindset. These factors have a far greater impact on a child’s emotional well-being than a smartphone ever will.
When a public leader suggests that mothers should “manage a couple of hours” to spend with their children, it risks reinforcing the harmful belief that women are solely responsible for emotional parenting. Many mothers in Meghalaya work out of necessity, not choice. They are trying to maintain their families, often with minimal support and under the weight of financial strain. Blaming mothers, even subtly, only adds to their burden. Christian teaching calls us to uplift those who are already carrying heavy loads, not blame them for struggles caused by systemic failures.
It also becomes irresponsible when public representatives make such statements without addressing the broader context. The truth is that parents today do spend time with their children, but they are exhausted, financially stretched, and emotionally overwhelmed. They struggle because the systems around them—schools, workplaces, communities—do not support them. A mother cannot magically find extra hours if she returns home late, cooks for the family, supervises homework, manages household chores, and still attempts to connect emotionally with her children. Blaming her for technology use ignores the real pressures she faces every day.
A similar concern arises from Iamon Syiem’s remarks as reported. The idea that social media is “destroying families” or that random messages are causing marital conflict oversimplifies the nature of relationships. Marriages do not fall apart because of phones. They fall apart because the foundation of communication, trust, and emotional intimacy has weakened long before any text message arrives. Research across cultures shows that the core causes of marital conflict include financial strain, longstanding misunderstandings, lack of emotional connection, differences in expectations, unaddressed resentment, and sexual dissatisfaction. Technology might expose these cracks, but it does not create them.
In Meghalaya, many families are battling the pressure of inconsistent income, the burden of extended family responsibilities, and limited access to mental health support. Men often work jobs that are unstable or poorly paid. Women manage both home and work with little help. Parents rarely get private time together. With such stress, even a small misunderstanding can escalate into conflict—not because of a phone, but because emotional reserves are already low. To point at social media as the primary cause of marital issues is to ignore the deeper relational wounds that need healing.
It is also important to recognise that financial instability plays a massive role in family tensions in our state. Many of the maintenance cases that reach the Women’s Commission arise not simply from irresponsibility but from genuine economic helplessness. When a man says he cannot pay maintenance because he has no proper job, it reflects a bigger structural issue: unemployment and underemployment. That reality cannot be solved by blame alone. It requires workers centric policies, job creation, sustainable economic planning, and proper routine inspection by the Labour department or commission of all government and non government workplaces on labour laws and workers rights.
To understand the real problems families and children face, we need to move beyond alarmist statements and look at psychological evidence. Studies consistently show that the strongest predictors of a child’s mental health are the stability of the home environment, the emotional availability of caregivers, the presence of supportive adults, and the atmosphere of the school. Technology can influence behaviour, but its impact depends entirely on how it is used and what emotional needs remain unmet offline. A child who feels secure, heard, and supported will use technology healthily. A child who feels neglected or overwhelmed will turn to screens for escape. The screen is not the cause; it is the symptom.
This is where the two-faced nature of many schools in Meghalaya must be highlighted. Schools proudly claim they care about students’ mental health. They put motivational quotes on walls, organise prayer services, and conduct symbolic “mental health debates and program” But when a child expresses stress or overwhelm, they are often scolded for being “weak” or “undisciplined.” When parents raise concerns, some schools become defensive. When counsellors suggest reforms, they are met with resistance. Mental health cannot be improved with slogans and photo sessions. It requires humility, structural change, and accountability—things that many institutions are unwilling to embrace.
Instead of concentrating solely on technology, our leaders should be guiding schools to create healthier learning environments. They should be advocating for every school to employ trained counsellors. They should be pushing for teacher training in emotional literacy, conflict resolution, and trauma-informed practice. They should be working to reduce academic pressure, encourage creative expression, and promote compassion within institutions. Children blossom when the soil is healthy, not when the phone is switched off.
Likewise, marriages need support that goes beyond blaming social media. Couples need tools to communicate better, understand each other’s emotional needs, practise forgiveness, and navigate intimacy with honesty. Churches, community organisations, and government bodies can work together to create marriage enrichment programmes, counselling centres, and parenting workshops. These initiatives would address the true causes of tension—financial stress, unresolved trauma, communication breakdown—not merely the secondary symptoms that appear on screens.
A Christian perspective teaches us to seek truth with compassion. Jesus addressed root causes, not surface-level symptoms. He challenged leaders who placed burdens on ordinary people instead of helping them. When we follow that model, we recognise that real healing comes from addressing the deeper wounds of society: broken educational systems, economic inequality, emotional neglect, and lack of community support.
When we ignore these issues and choose to blame technology, we fall into moral panic—a cycle that repeats every generation. Instead of growing wiser, we become more fearful. Instead of building solutions, we build scapegoats. The truth is that every generation has adapted to new forms of media. None of them were “destroyed” by music, films, or devices. What strengthens or weakens a society has always been the same: the quality of relationships, the compassion of its institutions, the fairness of its systems, and the presence of hope grounded in faith and community.
The Highland Post article shows how easily public conversations can drift toward easy explanations rather than genuine understanding. Technology is not destroying Meghalaya. What endangers our children and families is the reluctance to confront deeper issues. If we truly care about the next generation, we must stop blaming screens and start strengthening the foundations that truly matter like supportive schools, emotionally healthy families, job security and stable incomes, compassionate leadership, and a community guided by truth, empathy, and Christian principles.
(The writer is a seasoned counsellor, a committed Christian, TUR member, and an occasional writer working closely with workers unions, youths and community issues in Meghalaya)
