The Burden Men Carry: Mental Health, Suicide and the Cost of Silence

By Dr. E K Rangad

Men’s Mental Health Month is celebrated annually in June globally, although conversation on men’s mental health is often kept under wraps, overshadowed by longstanding stereotypes that equate masculinity with emotional strength. Men are taught in many communities to be providers, protectors and problem-solvers. While such expectations may sound empowering, they often leave little opportunity for vulnerability, emotional expression, or help-seeking behaviour.

In India, the impact of this silence is being felt more and more in disturbing suicide rates, mounting stress from economic and family pressures and long-standing legal and social issues that can have a dramatic effect on men’s mental health. Men’s Mental Health Month is an opportunity to reaffirm that supporting men is not a competition against other social concerns, but rather an acknowledgement of an often-unmet public health need in the midst of the country’s large mental health crisis.

The Numbers Tell a Disturbing Story

More than 171,000 suicides were reported in India in 2023, the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) claimed. Primary factors to suicide include familial concerns and health conditions, accounting for a substantial percentage of cases.

Although suicide affects adults of both genders, men consistently constitute a disproportionately high percentage of suicide fatalities. Earlier data from the NCRB has always shown that on average, seventy-five percent of suicide victims in India are males. Married men, in particular, are among the most vulnerable groups. Researchers have noted that culture often expects men to be the financial providers, to provide family stability, and to remain emotionally stoic, a convergence of demands that can be burdensome without supportive networks.

Economic volatility is also a major contributor. NCRB data-related analyses show that the percentage of suicide deaths among low-income earners, daily wage labourers, the self-employed, and unemployed people is relatively high. Financial instability, debt, unemployment and job insecurity can have a dramatic impact on self-esteem and identity especially in societies where a man’s worth is generally measured by his ability to provide.

But statistics don’t tell us about the hidden mental pain that comes before these tragedies. Men’s depression often shows itself in ways that are different from the typical assumptions. It could not appear as melancholy, but as impatience, rage, substance abuse, social disengagement, risk-taking behaviour or workaholism. This means many cases go unrecognised until a crisis emerges.

The Silence Culture

One of the biggest challenges to tackling men’s mental health is the persistent societal norm that men should “be strong” and “deal with problems themselves.”

Many males grow up with statements like “boys don’t cry” or “man up”. Though these signals may appear benevolent, they can inhibit emotional expression and perpetuate the notion that seeking psychological help is a sign of weakness.

Research from around the world has found males are less likely than women to access mental health care, even when they are experiencing severe emotional distress. Fear of stigma, societal disapproval and the fear of showing vulnerability sometimes prevents males from seeking help.

The effects of this quiet can be terrible. Over the years, untreated depression, anxiety, loneliness, marital discord, work stress, and financial difficulties can build up and present as self-harm, substance dependence, violence, or suicide.

The challenge, then, is not only how common mental health problems are for men, but how widely they are not owned up to.

Family Conflict, Marital Stress, and Legal Battles

Family conflict is the most important reason for suicides in India. Marital breakup, long term separation, custody disputes, allegations of abuse and bitter court battles can have serious psychological consequences. Family problems are always the number one cause associated with suicide deaths as per NCRB data.

Indian courts have been increasingly recognising the emotional toll of protracted divorce litigation in recent years. The Supreme Court, in a 2025 verdict, said that when a marriage has lived apart for 15 years without substantial efforts to reconcile, it is mental cruelty to both, recognising the psychological harm of a long separation.

The mental health effects of long-drawn-out legal proceedings demand further consideration. Court battles have social shame, fees, uncertainty, strained relationships and emotional fatigue. For many, the years of litigation can be a source of chronic stress.

One very sensitive issue is allegations around legislation on marriage and domestic violence. We must note that regulations to protect women from real abuse are needed and play an important role in safeguarding victims. At the same time, courts have expressed concerns over abuse incidents on occasion.

Concerns have been voiced in several judgements, including recent observations by the Supreme Court, over vague or baseless claims made under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (currently seen under similar provisions of the Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita). Judicial authorities have cautioned that the incorrect use of legal provisions can cause serious emotional and financial harm to the accused and their families. After 26 years of court battles, spouse was acquitted after the Supreme Court ruled the evidence against him was lacking.

Just because there is abuse doesn’t mean there is real domestic violence. But these truths must be acknowledged from a mental health perspective. Unfounded allegations, long investigations, social ostracism, damage to reputation and long judicial proceedings can cause much psychological pain. Those caught up in long legal uncertainties may experience anxiety, depression, withdrawal from society, sleeplessness and thoughts of suicide.

So, the public discussion should be a balancing act between supporting the real victims of abuse and acknowledging the psychological damage caused by false charges and long legal wars.

Men’s Mental Health Through a Khasi Lens

The narrative on men’s mental health is a different ball game when examined through the cultural lens of Khasi society in Meghalaya. The Khasi system, one of the most important matrilineal tribes in the world, follows genealogy and inheritance through women, a fact that has long attracted the attention of anthropologists and social observers.

Scholars who have researched Khasi society, such T Nongbri and other researchers of tribal communities of Northeast India, have highlighted that matriliny is commonly misinterpreted. Women inherit the family property and continue the line of the clan, but social realities are far more complex. The Khasi men still play prominent roles in family, community, religion and public life. But, like males everywhere, they also negotiate expectations about responsibility, authority, identity and achievement.

Matriliny is often misunderstood, according to the researchers of Khasi culture, such as T Nongbri and other experts of Northeast India’s tribal communities. The family property is inherited by women, and the line of the clan is carried on by them, but socially it is much more complicated. Khasi men continue to play important roles in the family, community, religion and public life. But, like with men everywhere, they too are met with assumptions about responsibility, power, identity and achievement.

Recent research on Khasi masculinity has identified how societal development, urbanisation and changing family structures have posed fresh questions about how to define manhood in a matrilineal society. Some men express confusion about their role in the family, others find it difficult to reconcile traditional expectations with modern realities.

Although the overall suicide rate in Meghalaya is lower than the national average, data from available police records show that men have a disproportionately large percentage in suicide deaths. In the East Khasi Hills and the state, the number of male suicides is bigger than the female suicides. This is consistent with the national tendency of higher number of suicides among males. These results underscore the importance of increasing attention to the mental health, emotional well-being and help-seeking behaviours of men.

This does not mean that just Khasi men are disadvantaged. This also does not take away the historical relevance of the status of women in Khasi culture. It emphasises the fact that each social structure has its own needs and expectations. It might be when you feel confused, hurt or challenged about identity and belonging or when things are ambiguous.

The Khasi experience ultimately shows that men’s mental health cannot be understood through a single national narrative. The cultural, familial and societal change shapes all of the ways that men perceive and express psychological well-being.

Building a Healthier Future for Men

Addressing men’s mental health requires more than symbolic gestures, it requires meaningful action.

First, we should improve mental health literacy. Men must understand that despair is not a show of weakness, worry is not a sign of failure, and asking for help is not a sign of weakness.

Second, organizations should adopt policies that promote psychological well-being, such as stress management efforts, counselling services and a better work-life balance.

Third, schools should cultivate emotional literacy in boys from a young age. Helping young males to identify and communicate their feelings can help prevent future psychological suffering.

Fourth, family courts, mediation mechanisms and legal institutions must continue to work to avoid unnecessary delays and adversarial procedures. Disputing promptly helps reduce the long-term emotional suffering of all the parties involved.

Ultimately, community leaders, church organisations, civil society groups and healthcare experts must work to stamp out the stigma attached to men’s mental health.

A Month of Recognition and Responsibility

Men’s Mental Health Month is so much more than just pointing out male suffering. The goal is to create a community that sees emotional health as a basic human need rather than a gendered privilege.

Each suicide statistic signifies a father, brother, husband, son, co-worker or friend. Long legal battles could mean years of emotional pain. Every unspoken trouble could be a person who never felt safe enough to ask for help.

As India continues to progress talks surrounding mental health, June should remind us that males too need spaces for vulnerability, support, healing and hope.

The strongest communities are not those in which men suffer in silence. They are the places where mankind can be totally human.

Meghalaya State Mental Health Support