By Dr Rajesh K Pillania
Happiness is a topic on which almost everyone has something to say. On happiness, there are interesting thoughts of different people. Almost everyone thinks about it or talks about it at some point in their lives, if not many times. And there are many misconceptions and misunderstandings about it. These misconceptions, misunderstandings, or myths are keeping many people unhappy.
In his research of last 15 years the author has seen many people are postponing happiness to the future for various reasons. They have different arguments for doing so. Some of the most common arguments are: I am busy now with work, I donot have time, I have too many responsibilities, I have commitments, I have no energy for it, my attention is not on it, I am not the right person for it, it is not for me, its not a good idea when people around me are unhappy, I donot deserve it, it will take lot of money to be happy or it is so difficult to be happy and so on. People who are postponing have created a self-fulfilling prophecy and are stuck in it for a long time.
When probed further, many of them have a wrong understanding or definition of happiness. The starting point is to have the proper understanding or definition of happiness. A simple definition of happiness is the right balance among helping others, enjoying what one has, and finding purpose/meaning in life. Contrary to the perception of some, it does not mean being always happy or enjoying.
Ironically, for many of the arguments given against happiness,actually happinessis a significant input to achieving those things. For example, with happiness, one can do better work, pay better attention, have more energy, and use time better.
Research shows that happiness helps with better health, relationships, and work. And so one is in a better position to fulfil responsibilities and commitments, and to take care of others.
Also, happiness is not a crime or a luxury, nor is it something about which one needs to be apologetic. It is a fundamental human aspiration. And it has well-researched positive impacts on human life across several areas, including health, relationships, work, and communities.
It is harmful to postpone happiness, as the above arguments show. Further, life has no guarantee card, and it is essential to strike a balance between work or other commitments and happiness and well-being. Postponing happiness often becomes a habit, and over time, people forget how to be happy. What was meant to be temporary becomes permanent. One keeps waiting for the “right time”, which never arrives. In the process, stress increases, health suffers, relationships weaken, and dissatisfaction becomes normal.
Happiness does not require perfect conditions; it requires awareness and intent. Small steps towards happiness taken today are far more valuable than big plans for happiness tomorrow. Delaying happiness is, in many ways, delaying life itself.
(The author is a Professor of Strategy at the Management Development Institute, Gurgaon. He is popularly known as India’s Happiness Professor and India’s Happiness Guru)
